Contrails
by PinkWhirlWind
Summary: Heero's pov... he walked away from Duo at the end of the war... now he wants to walk back in and he's afraid that might not work so well.


Contrails 1/1

By Max

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing

Note: I fear this is going to be really short. I just ran out of day. I saw some contrails on the way out of work today though.. And this is what I got :)

There was so much distance between sixteen and twenty-six.

Heero Yuy accepted the ticket to the air show like it was something sacred. It was in a way, a commitment to an alternative reality where he mattered, where what he wanted mattered. It wasn't like he hadn't always known. "Is there a program, that tells when a certain pilot is flying," he asked the girl in the ticket box.

She arched an eyebrow, but pushed a small poster towards him. "Who are you here to see?"

He wasn't sure why his mouth had gone dry. It wasn't possible that he was dehydrated. It had been ten years though, since he'd looked at those violet eyes, heard that voice. It hadn't been a good day that day. Duo had come out to him, admitted that he liked him. Heero had just said that he was marrying Relena for the good of the people of the Earth Sphere. The emotions that had stormed through Duo in less time than it takes to draw a breath had started at hurt, passed through hate, and gone back to a kind of crushed that made Heero hurt in ways he hadn't known it was possible to hurt. He'd just turned and walked away.

It had seemed like a really good idea at sixteen.

Some part of him had never moved on from that moment. He was still standing there his foot midair, just taking his first step away from Duo, away from the source of light and life and reason and will and color and laughter and all things worth having, because the rest of him knew if he took that first step - nothing was ever going to feel right again.

"I'm looking for Duo Maxwell."

"Dr. Maxwell," she said, "Oh he's popular. He flies at two, except on Sunday, when he flies in the finale at five."

"Doctor?"

"Yeah," she said, "He's a good pilot though. He was in the wars, you know."

"Yeah," Heero said, leaving the little poster on the counter. "I know. Thank you."

"No problem. Oh hey! If you're interested, for an extra hundred dollars, we have one more VIP pass that will get you into the pits. You might even get up close, get to see him, even get his autograph. When I mean he was in the war, I mean he was a gundam pilot."

"He is an excellent pilot," Heero said, pulling out his wallet. "I would like the VIP pass, please."

"Sure thing. I was hoping we were going to sell it. The proceeds go to support the hospital. Thanks! I also comes two complimentary beers at the beer garden."

"Thank you," he said, hanging the gaudy red, white, and blue badge over his neck.

As he walked away, he regretted not asking if Duo had married. Maybe there was a husband, children. Maybe there was a whole family out here cheering him on. That dry mouth just kind of crept back Heero's mouth into his throat and kicked his stomach around.

He made his way to the bleachers and watched the planes fly. Ancient things, really. There was one from the 1940's from Japan, a Zero. None of them brought any emotion from him. They were just blips of data moving across a blue sky that met nothing to him, until the announcer's voice got cheerful around 2 o'clock. "I know you've all been waiting for this. Who came out just to see Dr. Maxwell? Don't be shy!"

Cheers rose up out of the crowd, roars, so loud that Heero couldn't really hear the announcer, and some darkness he'd always felt, some deep seated self hatred that had followed him from before he could remember hissed that he wasn't good enough for Duo, would never be good enough for Duo and the best thing he could ever have done for his idiot maniac was walk away from him... but then Duo's plane shot out from nowhere, leaving fairly pink contrails across the blue sky.

She was a sleek black jet and he rolled her over painting pretty swirls across the sky. Heero's heart swelled with emotion, joy, his lips parting, blue eyes watching the beautiful black jet pull out of the roll and drop into a silent dive towards the river.

Heero jumped to his feet, heart in his mouth, tears in blue eyes and he would have promised any god anything to have one more moment to hear Duo's voice, even if it was in anger!

A hand patted his arm and he started only to find himself staring at an elderly little lady in a wide sun hat, her fan pointing at him. "It's alright dear. He does this every year. I thought I was going to die the first time I saw it."

Then a sonic boom brought him back to Duo's flight, while he'd been turned away, the sweet black craft had pulled up and sped up, breaking the sound barrier and disappearing over the horizon.

The old lady pointed up and Heero sank down to his seat as Duo came roaring down again, leaving a trail of red, white, and blue contrails, entwined with each other because of his spin and tight aerobatics that Heero wasn't even sure he could pull of anymore, but he hadn't flown in years.

Suddenly Heero could hear the announcer again, as Duo disappeared back the way he'd come from. "And those of you with those VIP Passes, if you want to use them to visit Dr. Maxwell, now is the time. The ferry will take you across now."

"I've got to go," Heero said, hurrying. People got out of his way, just as excited for him to get his reward as he was, or at least they thought they were.

He got down there and there was just Heero. The ferry pilot arched an eyebrow. "There's usually more. I guess people are more interested in Aeronichix this year."

Heero nodded, sat down, wondered if someone could die of nerves. He supposed they could, but probably not when they were twenty-six. Twenty-six year olds probably didn't succumb to that.

The river took no time to cross and Heero still didn't know what he was going to say. "Hi! I can't live without you. Relena divorced me because she said I was in love with you and didn't know what was good for me." "Hi! I'm a jackass!" "So, about that gay thing, I think you're right - the world doesn't work without you, at least not for me." Those all sounded good, but Heero didn't know how he was going to make any of them come out of his mouth. How it was going to was he was going to one his mouth and his tongue was going to spontaneously turn into those little lego blocks and all the words would sound like corrupt data. Duo would wrinkle his nose and walk away.

That would be better than not seeing him at all.

So Heero was dry washing his hands when he walked into the hanger where he was told that Duo would be parking his plane. It didn't matter. If this was the last moment of his life, he just wanted to be near Duo for one more moment.

When he came up out of that cockpit, his body lean and hard, it was Duo.. bigger, older, but Duo. Heero didn't understand why he was crying. He didn't understand why it felt good, to just let go, to feel, even if it was so much sorrow for all the things he couldn't have, had lost because he was so fucking stupid,

Then Duo turned and looked at him and there was that grin, ear-to-ear, a little crooked and completely irreverent of convention. He jumped the rest of the way down and pulled his helmet off, setting it on the ladder before running towards Heero.

Heero's eyes went huge. His heart went huge. There was too much light in the room. Duo's arms went around him, his head on his chest, as if he were listening for a heartbeat. Slowly Heero reached up to run a hand through much shorter brown hair. "Your hair?"

"Oh," Duo pulled back, grinning with even more energy, hands still on Heero's shoulders, strong hands, gentle hands. "I got cancer like five years ago. Lost all of it. It's growing back. It'll be down ta mah ass in no time. How are you? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I love you and I can't live without you," Heero admitted.

"Well," Duo said smirking playfully, "I don't see as that's such a bad thing." He reached and wiped tears from Heero's cheek, "Well, unless 'Lena's gonna put a contract out on my ass, in which case we better get a move on. I ain't fixin on dying anytime soon."

"You still want me?"

"Yes," Duo said, one arm around Heero's shoulder, holding him close, the other hand wiping away tears from his other cheek. "Seriously, Heero, why are you crying?"

"I haven't felt anything since I walked away from you. I'm damaged goods."

"We're all a little broken. It gives us character. We can get you a therapist. Having feelings will make therapy work a fuck shit better."

"Really," Heero asked.

"Yup, sure that badge of yours comes with two beers. Wanna buy me a beer?"

"Yes, I'd love to buy you a beer," Heero said.

"Then here's to cold beer and new beginings! 'Lena's not gonna kill me, is she?"

"She divorced me."

"Hot damn," Duo said cheerfully, "Er.. sorry for your loss?"

"I love you," Heero said, feeling as if he'd finally turned the right direction, finally put his heart where it was meant to be.

"I love you too," Duo said, arm still around Heero's shoulder as he pointed the way to his truck.


End file.
